Which sentence should be revised to reduce wordiness?
A. People live with a general expectation of privacy, not considering how thoroughly their daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices.
B. Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, is to be expected as necessary in order to provide security for the businesses.
C. People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded.
D. People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices.
B. Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, is to be expected as necessary in order to provide security for the businesses.
C. People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded.
D. People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices.
Introduction:
In academic and professional writing, reducing wordiness helps make your ideas clearer and easier to understand. Choosing concise sentences improves readability and strengthens your message.
Explanation:
Wordy sentences often include unnecessary phrases or redundant words that can be simplified without changing the meaning. In this case, we are looking for the sentence that can be revised to become more concise.
Answer:
B is the sentence that should be revised to reduce wordiness. Here's why:
Original: "Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, is to be expected as necessary in order to provide security for the businesses."
Revised: "Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in banks and retail stores, is expected to provide security."
This revised version delivers the same meaning in fewer words.
